Whether you’re curious about strap-on dildos and harness sets for the first time or you’ve been enjoying them for years, they can open up exciting new ways to connect with your partner. These versatile tools are enjoyed by all kinds of people and couples, from same-sex partners who love penetration, to those exploring pegging, to anyone seeking gender-affirming intimacy during partnered sex. While they can be paired with kink and BDSM gear like leather, whips, and restraints, they’re just as at home in tender, playful, or sensual encounters. The right strap-on and harness can completely transform how you give and receive pleasure, offering new angles, sensations, and experiences that are only limited by your imagination.
A strap-on harness is a wearable accessory that lets you securely attach a dildo or other compatible toy for penetrative play. They’re used and enjoyed by people of all experience levels, in all kinds of relationships, and for all sorts of reasons. While they can be part of power play or BDSM scenes, they’re just as often used in tender, playful, or romantic moments. Strap-on and harness sets come in a wide range of styles, fits, and materials, making it easy to find one that feels comfortable, empowering, and aligned with your desires. Whether you’re switching roles, trying new positions, or simply adding variety, the right harness can help create deeper connection and even more satisfying pleasure.
So, how do you pick the best strap on harness for you and your partner? You want to think about comfort, adjustability, ease of use and whether it works with your favoritesex toys. If you're just beginning to explore strap-on play, start with a beginner harness that’s simple and lets you move freely. If you're more experienced, you might want a more specialized strap on and harness with more complex set-ups that enhances sensation.
Types of Strap On Harnesses
There are a few main types of strap on harnesses. Each one offers you different and enjoyable features, and the one you choose depends on your comfort level, experience and what gets you off.
Jockstrap Harnesses: With minimal coverage and a snug fit, these are perfect for anyone who wants more freedom of movement. They stay in place and are great for vigorous play – theSpareParts Joque Harness is a popular option in this category.
Panty Harnesses: These look and feel like regular underwear. Comfortable and discreet, they're perfect if you want easy to slip into, that doesn’t feel intimidating, and looks great on your body. This is the best strap on harness style for beginners – check out the Strap-On-Me Lingerie Harness for a great example of this type of harness.
Corset Harnesses: These lace-up harnesses offer extra support and a sexy aesthetic for those who like to mix kink with fashion.
Thigh Harnesses: Ideal for partner play or solo exploration, these are worn around the thigh instead of the waist, giving you new angles and positions to experiment with. This Thigh Strap On Harness is super popular with beginners.
Two-strap and Three-strap Harnesses: These classic designs offer stability and control. The third strap adds extra support, especially with heavier dildos.
Strap On Harness Materials and Their Benefits
The right material enhances the overall experience of wearing your strap on with a harness, whether you're playing for five minutes or five hours. Leather strap on harnesses are a favorite among harness enthusiasts. They’re strong, sexy and built to last. Leather molds to your body over time, creating a custom fit that gets more comfortable with use. It’s also a major turn-on for anyone who loves the look and feel of leather. It’s important to remember that leather strap on harnesses require more care.
For those who want something lighter and easier to care for, nylon or polyester harnesses are great options. They're functional, easy to clean and often more affordable. These are great if you're just dipping your toes into strap on and harness play. There are also options made of silicone and rubber, which are ideal for people with sensitive skin. These materials are flexible and soft but may be harder to find in certain designs. And, of course, don’t forget to pair your strap on harness with a goodlube to keep things slick. Silicone-based lube tends to last longer, but if you're using siliconeadult toys, a water-based lube is best.
Finding the Right Harness for Your Body Type
The best strap on harness is one that fits well and feels good. Adjustability is an absolute must. Look for harnesses with multiple adjustment points at the hips, thigh and waist, which will help it hug your curves just right. If you're plus-size, look for harnesses that are designed with inclusive sizing. Plenty of brands offer extended sizing options with strong, secure straps that won’t dig in or slip.
Those with narrower hips or leaner frames should pay attention to the snugness of the straps. A harness that’s too loose can slip or shift mid-thrust, throwing off your rhythm and killing the mood. Panty-style harnesses can offer more comfort and a natural fit for smaller frames, while corset or three-strap harnesses give more support for curvier bodies.
Harnesses for Different Activities and Experiences
Different kinds of play call for different types of harnesses. If you're exploring pegging, for example, you’ll want something sturdy, with firm control and a design that keeps the dildo exactly where you need it. A leather strap on harness can be especially sexy and functional for this kind of penetration.
For role reversal and domination play, aesthetics can matter just as much as practicality. A corset-style harness with intricate detailing can set the scene, especially when paired with other kinky accessories from ourBDSM collection.
If you’re not looking for kinky play, panty harnesses are perfect for quickies and low-prep sex sessions. And for people who want mutual stimulation, some harnesses have built-in vibrators or come with double-ended dildos. These are especially popular in queer and lesbian relationships, offering dual pleasure and deep connection.
How to Put On, Adjust and Care for Your Harness
Sliding into a strap on and harness can feel intimidating for the first time, so allow for extra time before play to get everything adjusted in a relaxed and enjoyable setting. Start by loosening all the straps before stepping in. Once it’s on, tighten the waist and thigh straps one at a time. You want it snug enough to hold the dildo securely but not so tight that it restricts movement or breathing. Make sure the O-ring is centered with your pelvis. If your harness has interchangeable rings, adjust them to fit different dildo sizes. Test it with your toy before you get down to business so you know everything fits and stays where it should.
After you’re done with your harness, you should clean it properly. If you’re using a leather strap on harness, wipe it down with a damp cloth and apply leather conditioner to keep it supple. Nylon and other fabrics can usually be hand-washed or machine-washed, but always check the label. Store your harness in a clean, dry place away from direct sunlight.
At Lovers, we’re all about helping you find that sweet spot between comfort and kink. No matter how you play, you’ll find the perfect fit at Lovers. Explore our full collection to find the best strap on with harness for you and your partner. You can also explore our full range ofsex toys for men andsex toys for women to take your harness play to even hotter heights!
Strap Ons and Harnesses FAQs
Can I use any dildo with a harness?+
Most strap on harness designs require a dildo with a flared base so it stays locked into the O-ring
or attachment point during play. Some harnesses use interchangeable rings or snap systems, letting
you use toys of different sizes or even vibrators. Before you dive in, always double-check the
compatibility of your dildo and harness.
What’s the best strap on harness for beginners?+
If you're new to strap on with harness play, start with something comfortable, adjustable and easy
to use. A simple two-strap nylon or fabric harness is often ideal for beginners. They’re lightweight
and don’t require much setup. Look for one that includes interchangeable O-rings so you can
experiment with different toy sizes. It’s best to avoid overly complicated designs at first. Once
you feel confident, you can always upgrade to a more advanced or kink-inspired model like a leather
strap on harness for added sensation and style.
How do I clean my harness?+
For leather, use a damp cloth to wipe down your leather strap on harness, then follow up with a
leather conditioner to keep it from cracking. Never submerge it or put it in the washing machine.
For fabric or nylon harnesses, mild soap and warm water do the trick. Let them air dry completely
before storing. Silicone and rubber parts can typically be sanitized with mild soap or toy-specific
cleaners.
Are harnesses comfortable?+
Yes, provided they fit and are set up correctly. A strap on harness in a material like leather
offers unbeatable durability and molds to your body the more you use it. Our strap ons come in a
range of materials so you can find the right choice for your comfort. They’re also fully adjustable
so you can enjoy the perfect fit every time.
